|
Post by moonstone on May 24, 2009 21:05:50 GMT -5
www.funreports.com/fun/16-11-2006/1433-groin-0"Kidnapper shoots himself in left testicle A botched kidnapping ended with one of the assailants shooting himself in the groin, Wichita police said. The man had just stuck the gun back into his waistband when it fired, shooting him in the left testicle. He cringed, causing the gun to fire again and strike him in the left calf. When the shooting ended, the 23-year-old man managed to walk himself into the hospital for treatment, police said. He and his two accomplices, ages 18 and 20, were arrested for aggravated attempted kidnapping and conspiracy to obstruct justice. The men were attempting to kidnap a teen in a dispute over stereo speakers, police said." === The people who brought us the SS... www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2443336/Gangster-blasts-own-manhood.html"A WANNABE gangster blew his own manhood to smithereens when his gun accidentally went off in his pocket. Dim-witted Lukas Neuhardt, 27, forgot to put the safety catch on when he stuffed the weapon into his trousers to impress pals in Saarbruecken, Germany. He told paramedics that a masked mugger had blasted him in the crotch during a bungled robbery. But police found a HOLE in his statement when they saw the gunshot had miraculously left his trousers intact. A police source said: "Instead there was a charred hole in his pocket so either it was the shot of the century or he did it himself." Now – after surgeons stitched his manhood back together – he's facing up to three years in jail for breaching Germany's tough new anti gun laws. " I used to be for gun control, but after this ... maybe not. To paraphrase an expression I learned long ago in the Northwoods where men were men, blaze orange was the new black, and deer were often served "poached" ... let them all shoot themselves and God will sort it out. Sheesh.
|
|
|
Post by moonstone on May 24, 2009 21:09:39 GMT -5
www.mlive.com/news/muskegon/index.ssf/2009/05/man_pleads_to_being_nude_in_wo.html"Man pleads to being nude in woman's bathroom by John S. Hausman | The Muskegon Chronicle Saturday May 23, 2009, 9:22 PM Victor Ruzicka MUSKEGON COUNTY -- He pleaded "no contest" in a man's voice. A Norton Shores man stands convicted of obscene conduct and cocaine possession after he was caught naked in the women's bathroom at a Rothbury rest stop. Authorities said Victor Fred Ruzicka, 46, of 4232 Armstrong was discovered just before 7 a.m. April 12 by an Oceana County Road Commission worker at the rest area along U.S. 31. When the road commission employee identified himself, the man tried to portray a woman's voice and said he was having "woman's problems," police said. The man, who told police he is a "closet nudist," was alone when he was found standing inside a bathroom stall. Police later found cocaine in his car...." Oh, sure. Isn't that just like a man. Blame it all on the cocaine. By the way, this is also something you might see in the Northwoods ... where there's indoor plumbing, of course. But he did get one thing right. He does, without a doubt, have "woman" problems.
|
|
|
Post by Fairweather on May 28, 2009 14:04:57 GMT -5
Why I never neglect to invite members of the British Royal Family to whatever I'm commemorating (joke, people, joke) blogs.cqpolitics.com/trailmix/Seems the French have invited Pres. Obama, but no members of the Royal Family and (even more significantly) not PM Gordon Brown, to the commemoration of D-Day (June 6th, 1944, the Normandy invasion)--and Her Majesty the Quane is, like her illustrious predecessor Victoria, NOT amused. Crawford does have a point. The Brits have bailed out French arse more than once, so this is indeed pretty tacky. Still haven't heard what steps he took to get the squirrels to leave his blue corn seedlings alone, although I expect that using a Cheney doll for a scarecrow did the trick.
|
|
|
Post by g1 on May 30, 2009 13:58:12 GMT -5
www.abcactionnews.com/content/news/weird/story/Behind-kisser-tells-cops-he-thought-woman-was-his/mJLBcDDl5k6sjw3sI60PRQ.cspx"Behind-kisser tells cops he thought woman was his 'baby momma' CRESTVIEW, FL -- A 22-year-old man found himself slapped with a battery charge after a woman said she woke up and found him kissing her rear-end. According to the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office, the two had been drinking beer and watching a movie when she got up, went to his bedroom and fell asleep. He eventually joined her. She told cops that she woke up to find her pants and underwear pulled down to her ankles. She said he was kissing her buttocks and touching her legs. She got up and took off. The man claimed he fell asleep on the couch and then went to his bedroom. He said he forgot she was in his bed and, apparently half-asleep, thought she was his "baby momma." He said he tried to apologize. It didn't work." ----------------------- There's a fair bit of snow on the ground in this one, so we can take comfort that stupid isn't a regional thing... www.break.com/index/tree-cutting-goes-very-wrong.html------------------------ Old pilots, bold pilots, preoccupied pilots... www.newsvine.com/_news/2009/05/29/2877910-pilot-lesson-no-1-check-gas-before-taking-offWhich reminds me of the distinction between "pilots who have landed without lowering the gear and those who have yet to land without lowering the gear...."
|
|
|
Post by g1 on Jun 1, 2009 16:35:51 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by g1 on Jun 1, 2009 20:10:36 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by moonstone on Jun 1, 2009 20:14:00 GMT -5
LoLoL Forgive me if I don't ask for details about which parts of our hero were actually stuck to the bathtub. I'll bet that water was ... shall we say ... redolent ... by the time the rescuers got to him.
|
|
|
Post by g1 on Jun 2, 2009 20:20:00 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by g1 on Jun 3, 2009 17:53:01 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by g1 on Jun 3, 2009 21:41:01 GMT -5
edition.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/02/17/china.mistress.contest/index.html" BEIJING, China (CNN) -- A married Chinese businessman who could no longer afford five mistresses held a competition to decide which one to keep. But the contest took a fatal turn when one of the women, eliminated for her looks, drove the man and the four other competitors off a cliff, Chinese media reported. The spurned mistress died and the other passengers were injured, the reports said...."
|
|
|
Post by g1 on Jun 4, 2009 19:44:28 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by g1 on Jun 7, 2009 11:22:38 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by g1 on Jun 7, 2009 14:05:01 GMT -5
Thanks be to many, I seem to have fallen out of the "pass this message on to your 227 closest friends or die horribly from maggots chewing out your eyeballs" loop. But just in case there are a few of you still indulging, some thoughts from a friend at NV: kyanabelle.newsvine.com/_news/2009/06/06/2903667-please-dont-feed-the-spammers"First, let me present a scenario to you. This method of collecting e-mail addresses is known by some spammers as the "social engineering method." You are being tricked into send your e-mail addresses as well as those of your friends and family to those who harvest e-mail addresses to spam or to sell to other spammers. It works like this: Spam creep #1 (and thousands more of his/her kind) composes an e-mail. This e-mail will play on your emotions, your patriotism, or your spirituality. One example of such emotion-charged e-mails is the e-mails that include pictures of our troops showing kindness, accompanied by a political statement of how our troops are being disrespected, requesting prayer for our troops and, finally, challenging the recipient of the e-mail to forward it to everyone in their address book. The most egregious of these are the ones that imply that if you do not forward the e-mail, you must be unpatriotic or unappreciative of the sacrifices of our service men and women in our behalf. Other examples are stories of miraculous interventions by The Creator, again accompanied with encouragement to pray and to forward the e-mail in order to convert someone in need of salvation and to harvest some kind of blessing for yourself. Again, the most egregious will question the strength of your faith if you do not forward the e-mail to everyone in your address book. Now, these e-mails get sent out to a bunch of people. That bunch of people will hit "forward" and send it to ten friends, who will then be guilted into forwarding it to ten more friends, and on and on. I've received e-mails with series of "to:" fields full of the e-mail addresses of literally hundreds of people I do not know. Eventually, these e-mails, loaded with new, validated e-mail addresses make it back to Spam Creep #1 or another Spam Creep who is willing to sell this list of newly harvested, mostly validated e-mail addresses to other Spam Creeps. Don't forward these e-mails, PLEASE. ..."
|
|
|
Post by moonstone on Jun 8, 2009 22:59:15 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by g1 on Jun 9, 2009 9:22:04 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by g1 on Jun 11, 2009 17:55:18 GMT -5
www.newsvine.com/_news/2009/06/11/2920272-thief-in-northern-wis-has-taste-for-finer-things"WASHBURN — A thief who broke into a northern Wisconsin restaurant apparently has refined culinary tastes. The co-owner of DaLou's Bistro said someone broke into her Washburn restaurant Tuesday and stole several bottles of wine, a large Italian ricotta cheesecake and a bag of arugula. Lois Stensvad said she found the thefts "bizarre." She said her waitress joked that the thief was probably stocking up for a nice dinner party. Why transvestitism doesn't pay... www.newsvine.com/_news/2009/06/11/2920097-woman-spots-man-in-bra-rummaging-through-her-car"SPARTA — A man has been charged after a neighbor said she found him wearing a purple bra and boxer shorts while rummaging through her car. Jacob Andrew Fast, 20, was arraigned Wednesday on charges of first-degree home invasion and resisting and obstructing a police officer. Lisa Collins told WZZM-TV she found Fast rifling through her car on Tuesday afternoon and called the police. The car keys were missing from her house...." www.newsvine.com/_news/2009/06/11/2920278-ohio-panty-burglar-gets-9-years-in-prison"ALLIANCE — An Ohio man has been sentenced to nine years in prison for stealing underwear from more than 20 women in a series of home break-ins going back to 2006. Thomas Williams, 25, pleaded guilty Wednesday to 11 felonies, including nine burglary counts. He also pleaded guilty to misdemeanor voyeurism...."
|
|
|
Post by g1 on Jun 17, 2009 12:08:48 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by g1 on Jun 17, 2009 20:51:48 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by g1 on Jun 18, 2009 16:27:38 GMT -5
Beyond Stupid Criminal of the Week: www.newsvine.com/_news/2009/06/17/2940595-oregon-woman-obsessed-with-rabbits-arrested-again"PORTLAND — Washington County's "Bunny Lady" is back in the hutch after violating a court order banning her from owning animals for five years. Miriam Sakewitz, 47, was arrested Tuesday at a hotel in the Portland suburb of Tigard after an employee reported finding rabbits hopping around in her room. Problems for Sakewitz started in October 2006 when police in Hillsboro, about 15 miles west of Portland, found and confiscated nearly 250 rabbits in her home, including about 100 dead ones in freezers and refrigerators. Police said she broke into the facility where the survivors were being cared for in January 2007 and stole most of them back. Authorities found her a few days later in Chehalis, Wash., with eight live rabbits and two dead ones in her car. Another 130 rabbits were recovered at a nearby horse farm. Sakewitz was sentenced in April 2007 to five years probation and was banned from owning or controlling animals. She also was told not to go within 100 yards of a rabbit. That summer, Sakewitz was ordered to spend three days in jail for violating her probation by keeping a rabbit in her house. County probation officer Susan Ranger also said Sakewitz had canceled counseling sessions and refused to open the door for unannounced visits. Ranger said she found no rabbits when she finally got inside but did find a half-empty 10-pound bag of carrots...." +++ blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/2009/06/feds_indict_miami_man_who_trie.php"Feds Indict Miami Man Who Tried To Steal $14 Trillion from the IRS By Tim Elfrink in The Judge "Back in December 2007, Moore, a 38-year-old Miami resident, walked out of the federal pen in Coleman, Florida after serving a six year sentence on felony money laundering charges as part of a cocaine smuggling ring. Soon after his release, Moore embarked upon a truly brilliant criminal enterprise: He did his taxes. It may not sound like much of a crime. But "X-Large" Moore -- one of several aliases he used, including Dammon Green and Tyrone Moore -- wasn't exactly noting a few dependents and asking for a refund. In separate filings, Moore asked for $5,959,000,000,000 and $2,975,000,000,000. A third form rounded up and asked for another $6,000,000,000,000. (That's $5 trillion, $2.97 trillion and $6 trillion, for the math averse). Just for good measure, Moore allegedly filled out a final U.S. Individual Income Tax Return Form 1040 asking for $10 million...."
|
|
|
Post by g1 on Jun 20, 2009 5:38:27 GMT -5
www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/06/20/2603720.htmNaked swingers flee fire Posted 9 hours 33 minutes ago Red-faced firefighters in Canada have doused burning passions, stamping out an early morning blaze at a swingers' club on Montreal's north-east side, the fire department said. At 6:30am (local time), fire crews rescued 10 employees and patrons of Auberge 1082, who had been carousing and flirting inside the establishment before real sparks started flying. Five people escaped in bed sheets from a second floor of the burning building, down a fire truck ladder. Naked, or barely clad in borrowed towels, they watched from the street for over an hour as firefighters put out the blaze, neighbours told local media. Six people were also treated for smoke inhalation, the fire department said. The cause of the fire, estimated to have caused tens-of-thousands of dollars worth of damage, is now under investigation.
|
|
|
Post by g1 on Jun 20, 2009 10:41:13 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by g1 on Jun 23, 2009 18:10:19 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by g1 on Jul 1, 2009 17:58:40 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by pdb on Jul 1, 2009 19:03:08 GMT -5
Hi, moon!! How are you?
|
|
|
Post by pdb on Jul 1, 2009 19:03:35 GMT -5
Oh, and nana's here, too - YEAH!!
|
|