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Post by g1 on Apr 6, 2008 13:57:16 GMT -5
It's a beautiful day today, but that's likely to change tomorrow. I thought I'd post this time-wasting link for the next time you are housebound: www.lileks.com/What a fabulous site! Thanks for posting this, blue. I confess I'm still a sucker for 50s-modern design -- though the culinary treats are best left to the cesspools of history. I'm still awaiting that electricity that's too cheap to meter.
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Post by Laura on Apr 6, 2008 14:41:05 GMT -5
A few more items from Oxymoronica .... "How is it possible to have a civil war?" ~ George Carlin "The average tourist wants to go places where there are no tourists." ~ Sam Ewing "Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future." ~ Niels Bohr (didn't he have something to do with the atomic bomb? -- scary) "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous." ~ Anonymous (who'd take credit for saying that?) "I think people who go to a psychiatrist ought to have their heads examined." ~ Jane Ace "Modesty is my best quality." ~ Jack Benny "We have to believe in free will. We've got no other choice." ~ Isaac Bashevis Singer "Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else." ~ Margaret Mead Have several favorites here. Margaret Mead..LOL! and that one by anonymous..I'll have to remember that one!
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Post by moonstone on Apr 6, 2008 21:22:01 GMT -5
A few examples of romantica oxymoronica ....
"The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is love." ~ P. J. Bailey
"Where love is concerned, too much is not even enough." ~ Pierre de Beaumarchais
"in love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two." ~ Erich Fromm
"Only love can be divided endlessly and still not diminish." ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh
"The love we give away is the only love we keep." ~ Elbert Hubbard
Good night and good fortune to all of you, always.
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Post by g1 on Apr 7, 2008 22:03:20 GMT -5
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Post by Laura on Apr 8, 2008 13:18:32 GMT -5
Battle Hymm of the Republicans (to the tune of the Battle Hymm of the Republic)
Mine eyes have seen the bungling of that stumbling moron Bush; He has blathered all the drivel that the neo-cons can push; He has lost sight of all reason 'cause his head is up his tush; The Doofus marches on.
I have heard him butcher syntax like a kindergarten fool; There is warranted suspicion that he never went to school; Should we fault him for the policies -- or is he just their tool? The lies keep piling on.
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'! Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw ya'! Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw ya'! His wreckage will live on.
I have seen him cut the taxes of the billionaires' lone heir; As he spends another zillion on an aircraft carrier; Let the smokestacks keep polluting -- do we really need clean air? The surplus is now gone.
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'! Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw ya'! Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw ya'! Your safety net is gone!
Now he's got a mighty hankerin' to bomb a prostrate state; Though the whole world knows it's crazy -- and the U.N. says to wait; When he doesn't have the evidence, "We just prevaricate." Diplomacy is done!
Oh, a trumped-up war is excellent; we have no moral bounds; Should the reasons be disputed, we'll just make up other grounds; Enraging several billions -- to his brainlessness rebounds; The Doofus marches on!
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'! Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'! Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'! THIS...DOO...FUS...MAR...CHES...ON
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Post by Krista on Apr 8, 2008 13:28:23 GMT -5
Battle Hymm of the Republicans(to the tune of the Battle Hymm of the Republic) Mine eyes have seen the bungling of that stumbling moron Bush; He has blathered all the drivel that the neo-cons can push; He has lost sight of all reason 'cause his head is up his tush; The Doofus marches on. I have heard him butcher syntax like a kindergarten fool; There is warranted suspicion that he never went to school; Should we fault him for the policies -- or is he just their tool? The lies keep piling on. Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'! Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw ya'! Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw ya'! His wreckage will live on. I have seen him cut the taxes of the billionaires' lone heir; As he spends another zillion on an aircraft carrier; Let the smokestacks keep polluting -- do we really need clean air? The surplus is now gone. Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'! Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw ya'! Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw ya'! Your safety net is gone! Now he's got a mighty hankerin' to bomb a prostrate state; Though the whole world knows it's crazy -- and the U.N. says to wait; When he doesn't have the evidence, "We just prevaricate." Diplomacy is done! Oh, a trumped-up war is excellent; we have no moral bounds; Should the reasons be disputed, we'll just make up other grounds; Enraging several billions -- to his brainlessness rebounds; The Doofus marches on! Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'! Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'! Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'! THIS...DOO...FUS...MAR...CHES...ON Bravo! Standing O!!
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Post by Laura on Apr 8, 2008 13:32:55 GMT -5
Krista..(insert a bow here)..Thank you, thank you..
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Post by Fairweather on Apr 8, 2008 13:48:34 GMT -5
Bravo, Laura, bravo!!! Encore!!!!
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Post by Laura on Apr 8, 2008 13:50:46 GMT -5
Bravo, Laura, bravo!!! Encore!!!! Thank you Katie..I will try and find another comparable in the next few days. There's alot of goodies on the net.
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Post by Krista on Apr 8, 2008 14:36:13 GMT -5
Battle Hymm of the Republicans(to the tune of the Battle Hymm of the Republic) Mine eyes have seen the bungling of that stumbling moron Bush; He has blathered all the drivel that the neo-cons can push; He has lost sight of all reason 'cause his head is up his tush; The Doofus marches on. I have heard him butcher syntax like a kindergarten fool; There is warranted suspicion that he never went to school; Should we fault him for the policies -- or is he just their tool? The lies keep piling on. Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'! Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw ya'! Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw ya'! His wreckage will live on. I have seen him cut the taxes of the billionaires' lone heir; As he spends another zillion on an aircraft carrier; Let the smokestacks keep polluting -- do we really need clean air? The surplus is now gone. Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'! Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw ya'! Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw ya'! Your safety net is gone! Now he's got a mighty hankerin' to bomb a prostrate state; Though the whole world knows it's crazy -- and the U.N. says to wait; When he doesn't have the evidence, "We just prevaricate." Diplomacy is done! Oh, a trumped-up war is excellent; we have no moral bounds; Should the reasons be disputed, we'll just make up other grounds; Enraging several billions -- to his brainlessness rebounds; The Doofus marches on! Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'! Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'! Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'! THIS...DOO...FUS...MAR...CHES...ON Dear, the DailyKos folk would love, love, LOVE this!
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Post by g1 on Apr 10, 2008 13:29:24 GMT -5
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Barbara, you should have remained a virgin." -- Barbara Bush (mother of G.W.)
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall." -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. -- Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. -- George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - - Victor Borge
B e careful about reading health books. You may die of a m isprint.
-- Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon.
Then it's time for my nap.
-- Bob Hope
< BR>I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
-- W.C. Fields
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
-- Will Rogers
Don't worry about avoiding temptation as you grow older, it will avoid you.
-- Winston Churchill
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
-- Phyllis Diller
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
---Billy Crystal
The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.
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Post by g1 on Apr 10, 2008 13:34:46 GMT -5
Ooops-- the last one got away before I could fix the formatting. Another one, also courtesy of my spouse:
She was standing in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast, wearing only the "T" shirt that she normally slept in.
As he walked in almost awake, she turned and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment."
His eyes lit up and he thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day."
Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her and then gave it his all; Right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her "T" shirt still around her neck. A little puzzled, he asked, "What was that all about?"
She explained, "The egg timer's broken."
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Post by Laura on Apr 10, 2008 13:34:54 GMT -5
g1..Joke of the day..4/10/08..too funny..can't pick out a favorite, BUT yes, Barbara Bush should have either spit it out or remained a virgin..especially with George!
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Post by Laura on Apr 10, 2008 13:36:47 GMT -5
Ooops-- the last one got away before I could fix the formatting. Another one, also courtesy of my spouse: She was standing in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast, wearing only the "T" shirt that she normally slept in. As he walked in almost awake, she turned and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment." His eyes lit up and he thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day." Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her and then gave it his all; Right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her "T" shirt still around her neck. A little puzzled, he asked, "What was that all about?" She explained, "The egg timer's broken." Maybe these were one minute eggs!
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Post by g1 on Apr 10, 2008 13:38:07 GMT -5
g1..Joke of the day..4/10/08..too funny..can't pick out a favorite, BUT yes, Barbara Bush should have either spit it out or remained a virgin..especially with George! Oh, dear...
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Post by moonstone on Apr 10, 2008 13:41:06 GMT -5
Ooops-- the last one got away before I could fix the formatting. Another one, also courtesy of my spouse: She was standing in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast, wearing only the "T" shirt that she normally slept in. As he walked in almost awake, she turned and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment." His eyes lit up and he thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day." Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her and then gave it his all; Right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her "T" shirt still around her neck. A little puzzled, he asked, "What was that all about?" She explained, "The egg timer's broken." Maybe these were one minute eggs! My, my, my, my, my, my, my.
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Post by moonstone on Apr 10, 2008 13:42:16 GMT -5
g1..Joke of the day..4/10/08..too funny..can't pick out a favorite, BUT yes, Barbara Bush should have either spit it out or remained a virgin..especially with George! My, my, my, my, my, my, my. I have to stop napping and start paying more attention. LoL
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Post by Laura on Apr 10, 2008 13:42:58 GMT -5
g1..Joke of the day..4/10/08..too funny..can't pick out a favorite, BUT yes, Barbara Bush should have either spit it out or remained a virgin..especially with George! Oh, dear... Not my idea, hubby likes to use this terminology. He told me to say it..honest! He doesn't like George either.
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Post by moonstone on Apr 10, 2008 13:46:50 GMT -5
Not my idea, hubby likes to use this terminology. He told me to say it..honest! He doesn't like George either. Thank hubby for me. The best laugh I've had all day, followed closely by g1's joke about Eleanor Roosevelt.
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Post by Laura on Apr 10, 2008 13:47:50 GMT -5
g1..Joke of the day..4/10/08..too funny..can't pick out a favorite, BUT yes, Barbara Bush should have either spit it out or remained a virgin..especially with George! My, my, my, my, my, my, my. I have to stop napping and start paying more attention. LoL I must have had my Wheaties this morning..I'm on a roll.
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Post by moonstone on Apr 10, 2008 14:00:56 GMT -5
My, my, my, my, my, my, my. I have to stop napping and start paying more attention. LoL I must have had my Wheaties this morning..I'm on a roll. Roll on, my friend. It works for me.
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Post by Fairweather on Apr 10, 2008 14:08:32 GMT -5
Good thing I went to the potty before I came to this thread!!
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Post by Fairweather on Apr 10, 2008 19:15:08 GMT -5
If you don't like this one, blame Auntie's cousin Bill: Some time ago President Clinton was hosting a state dinner when, at the last minute, his regular cook fell ill, and they had to get a replacement on short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby-looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his Chief of Staff but was told that this was the best they could do on such short notice.
Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his finger in the soup to taste it and again complained to the Chief of Staff, but he was told that this man was supposed to be a very good chef. The meal went okay, but the President was sure that the soup tasted a little funny. By the time dessert came, he was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea.
It was getting worse and worse until finally the President had to excuse himself from the dinner to look for the bathroom. Passing through the kitchen, he caught sight of the cook, Jon, scratching his rear end, which made him feel even worse. By now, the President was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so disorientated that he couldn't remember which door led to the bathroom.
He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found a door that opened. As he unzipped his trousers and ran in, he realized to his horror that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's office with his trousers around his knees.
As he was just about to pass out, she bent over him and heard the President whisper in a barely audible voice, "Sack my cook."
And, so Help me God, that is how the whole misunderstanding occurred.
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Post by g1 on Apr 10, 2008 20:06:58 GMT -5
If you don't like this one, blame Auntie's cousin Bill: Some time ago President Clinton was hosting a state dinner when, at the last minute, his regular cook fell ill, and they had to get a replacement on short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby-looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his Chief of Staff but was told that this was the best they could do on such short notice. Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his finger in the soup to taste it and again complained to the Chief of Staff, but he was told that this man was supposed to be a very good chef. The meal went okay, but the President was sure that the soup tasted a little funny. By the time dessert came, he was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea. It was getting worse and worse until finally the President had to excuse himself from the dinner to look for the bathroom. Passing through the kitchen, he caught sight of the cook, Jon, scratching his rear end, which made him feel even worse. By now, the President was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so disorientated that he couldn't remember which door led to the bathroom. He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found a door that opened. As he unzipped his trousers and ran in, he realized to his horror that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's office with his trousers around his knees. As he was just about to pass out, she bent over him and heard the President whisper in a barely audible voice, "Sack my cook." And, so Help me God, that is how the whole misunderstanding occurred. Much in the line of an old series of British comedies: "No, no nurse.. I said 'prick his boil!'"
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Post by moonstone on Apr 10, 2008 20:09:30 GMT -5
If you don't like this one, blame Auntie's cousin Bill: Some time ago President Clinton was hosting a state dinner when, at the last minute, his regular cook fell ill, and they had to get a replacement on short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby-looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his Chief of Staff but was told that this was the best they could do on such short notice. Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his finger in the soup to taste it and again complained to the Chief of Staff, but he was told that this man was supposed to be a very good chef. The meal went okay, but the President was sure that the soup tasted a little funny. By the time dessert came, he was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea. It was getting worse and worse until finally the President had to excuse himself from the dinner to look for the bathroom. Passing through the kitchen, he caught sight of the cook, Jon, scratching his rear end, which made him feel even worse. By now, the President was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so disorientated that he couldn't remember which door led to the bathroom. He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found a door that opened. As he unzipped his trousers and ran in, he realized to his horror that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's office with his trousers around his knees. As he was just about to pass out, she bent over him and heard the President whisper in a barely audible voice, "Sack my cook." And, so Help me God, that is how the whole misunderstanding occurred. Much in the line of an old series of British comedies: "No, no nurse.. I said 'prick his boil!'" Not that I can relate, exactly, but "ouch."
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